Tuesday, February 24, 2009

In which I pretend I didn't not post for months.

So.

If I had to pick a feeling right now, it would be exploding. It's not that I have so many things on my plate (I do, but that's not what it is). It's more of the nagging notion that SOMETHING MUST CHANGE. I don't know precisely what.

I do know precisely what, but I can't think of a feasible way to change what I have to. Because there are no jobs. I feel like I'm at a gay bar, and there's a ton of hot, straight chicks who are hotter than me, and then there's ONE straight guy. And everyone wants him. That's what it's like even THINKING about changing jobs right now.

And part of me doesn't even want to do that, but a lot of me does. I am lucky to have a job. I am lucky to have security. But then I think about the summer and all of the ridiculous shit I was doing for money, and about days of laying in bed with nothing to do but write and smoke cigs and drink coffee, and about how that is ideally what I would like to do, forever and ever.

There are three reasons why I won't take that leap just yet. One of them is my rent. My rent isn't a little chunk of money that I can somehow magically come up with at the end of the month in a worse case scenario. My rent is already something that needs to be scrimped and saved, and that's with a reliable job. Second, it's cold out. Sure, being unemployed in the summer is all fun and games; but I imagine that this time of year it's straight up depressing. Very Charles Dickens. I don't need to feel even MORE worthless. Third, I refuse to leave to do something else that I don't want to do. That's stupid. So if I have some golden opportunity, I'm outta here. And I'm actively looking for that opportunity. But I won't leave one depressing waste of eight hours for another.

I used to be the master of doing strange things for money, but that was also before fucking Wall Street destroyed everything. The economy is completely fucked for people who did odd jobs for money. Where is the justice for us? Where's my fucking bailout?

If I had to choose another feeling, it would be trapped.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The return of the typed word

It’s amazing to me how I cannot make time to come on here and blog. I have been busy. I’m also going to blame it on my lack of a laptop, which I would wager that a good 80% of the blogging world use for their craft. It just does not have the same feel on my parent’s desk top.

I realized recently how much my life will always been intertwined with pot smoking. Let me explain; even though I may some day quit, I have spent enough time as one that it will always be a part of me. I want to start a list of “you know you’re a pot head whens,” in the style of Jeff Foxworthy, my first one would be, “you know you’re a pot head when you respected Micheal Phelps more once he got caught smoking!”


Seriously what an amazing event this truly has been for the pot smoking world. Think about all those anti smoking after school special style commercials, especially in recent years; the one with the girl forgetting to pick up her grandma, the one with the high guys hitting the girl on the little bike at the end of the drive-thru, the one of the guys just sitting around in a basement doing nothing; got those images in your head? Now take the greatest Olympic swimmer EVER, think about all his determination and hard work to get there, his years of preparation, the sacrifices, wins 8 gold metals, AND this mother fucker smokes weed. If that is not the greatest last laugh over the creators of those bull shit commercials then I don’t know what is.
I’m not saying I condone smoking for all people. But this instance proves to me yet again that people react to drugs differently. And any drug that does not lead to direct harm to the individual, or to society, should not be listed as a banned substance. I will never take to arms with the members of the legalize marijuana movement; I simply care too much about my life and want to hold a legit job one day, but I support you from a far and hope you do someday win out for your cause. Thank you.
And thank you Micheal Phelps, for being the greatest Olympic swimmer that ever lived.