I preface this entry by reminding everyone about how much i hate the holidays; christmas in particular. According to my mother i have never liked christmas-not even as a child. she says that i always was sullen and upset and generally displeased with the entire day. and this never faltered, no matter what gifts i received or how hard she attempted to make it special.
now, at 23 years old, my disdain for the holiday season hasnt lessened. in fact, now that i am older, it has only increased. I am now capable of hating the holidays by using a much more colorful and interesting vocabulary than ever before. Furthermore, i can actively inform everyone of this hatred and not feel like a grinch no matter how much they try to tell me i am one. For, I am amazingly comfortable in my little house devoid of joy.
This year, though, my joy-less house has been infiltrated by my mother. Apparently, my mother believes that Christmas begins at 12:01 am the day after Thanksgiving. Which means I have seen 10 christmas movies, listened to roughly 150 hours of christmas music, and there are currently 11 (!) christmas trees in my house. It is only december 7th.
To make matters worse I work in mid-town Manhattan. Short blocks from tourist meccas Macy's, the Empire State Building, and Rockefeller Center. I cannot walk anywhere around my building without hearing what i believe is some of the crappiest music ever created: christmas music. Its being piped into the subways like some sort of audible napalm.
I write this as both a warning and a baseline. A warning to those of you who might see me in the upcoming weeks and wonder what you did to make me so angry. I assure you that its the season and not anything you've done (unless you work for Hallmark or compose holiday music and ESPECIALLY if you are responsible for Dominick the fucking Donkey). And as a baseline to judge my breakdown. Maybe Ill give in and accept that this time of year isnt avoidable-if i cant beat 'em join 'em (i doubt it).
And if you hear about a 23 year old lunatic getting arrested for going postal in grand central screaming obscenities about christmas, be prepared, i might be calling you for bail money.
happy holidaze
2 comments:
Dominic the Donkey is the crappiest aspect of Italian American culture
I'm with you on the clown phobia. Not so much becuase of the whole make up and look of clowns; mostly cause it takes a strange type of person to aspire to be a clown, the type of people i typically try and stay away from. But Shannon this whol Christmas hatred thing, i just dont get it haha. I mean did your family smack you around every christmas morning? But hey you go on being you...just call me if you need someone to talk to about this whole holiday hatred thing you got going on...
ps. Merry Christmas ; )
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